The day Loren came home and put a baseball bat into the middle of my sister’s back was my first day of ninth grade so I wasn’t home to help her.

It didn’t surprise anybody, what Loren did. That sort of thing happens a lot around here and he’d already gone three tours so it was almost expected.

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It’s not his fault, Loren’s mom, Mrs. Tate told me when we bumped into each other in the waiting area at Madison General. I said, oh I know and I guess she might be right but Andrea was six months pregnant and who does that to a pregnant lady let alone someone they’re supposed to love?

The doctor says Loren won’t talk anymore and that means he’s untreatable.

Andrea won’t talk either, because she’s in a coma.

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Sometimes, I sit on the roof. Nobody knows I am up there except me. I bring a bag of pretzels or chips with me and just hang out, looking down at the front yard with its big truck tires full of dirt and weeds.

Dad dragged those tires out into the lawn when I was littler and packed them with sod from a pile out back and mom and I kneeled on the warm black rubber and sprinkled marigold seeds into tiny holes she scooped in the dirt then covered over, tenderly with soil and water.

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My mom calls to tell me she is trying to get the money to fly out here. My mom works at a Laundromat six states away. I ask her why she doesn’t just drive and she says Frank has the car and he’s working a job in Affton and won’t be back for a bit.

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When I was littler and in 4-H we learned about how to get on a horse without pulling too hard on one side of the saddle and throwing the horse’s back out. It’s about pressure and weight and how too much of it on one side throws everything off. Well, Andrea had all this extra weight on the front side of her body, because of the baby. So when Loren came in and while she stood at the sink rinsing dishes and whacked her in the back, her spine just snapped.